In my previous article, I promised to share my self-esteem quotient test. A self-esteem quotient test is the first step to developing and improving your self-esteem. So let’s take this test, shall we?
On a scale of 0 – 10 (0 meaning not true and 10 meaning absolutely true about me) answer the following questions sincerely.
- I have a negative attitude, feeling and perception towards criticism and mistakes.
- I beat myself up mercilessly when things seem to go wrong.
- I ask myself ‘why me’ questions when seemingly negative and undesirable things happen to me.
- When treated wrongly by others, I am not gentle or loving with myself and I often blame myself.
- I am the first to judge, abuse or put myself down.
- I tend to derive my value from the possession of things, money, how I behave and how I look and dress which in my opinion should be a certain way as accepted by the society.
- In the work place I derive my value from how much money I make, bring in, raise for the company and being promoted and what I earn at work becomes a measure of my self-worth.
- I seek co-dependence on people, sex, alcohol, drugs, achievement, work, business, my spouse, men/women, my children, my family even friends to fill the void or give myself a sense of value.
- I Feel lost, powerless, helpless, lack control and I blame myself for not being good enough.
- I feel useless, I accuse myself of having something wrong with me and I am critical and hard on myself in crisis or in the face of the tiniest difficulty.
- I believe the worst of myself, thinking, saying and believing negative things about myself in comparison with others.
- I think of myself as bad, always falling short of my own and other people’s standards.
- I question my own opinions, intelligence and I think my views and thoughts are less valid than those of others.
- I think of myself as “less than others” and others as “more than me”; “having much less than others” and others “having much more than me”.
- I often compare myself to others, in terms of looks, status, position, possessions, personality, acceptance by society, qualifications in all ramifications etc
- I often see others as more loving, happier, kinder, more emotionally stable and balanced than me.
- No matter what I do, I tend to judge myself as insufficient, inconsistent and incompetent.
- When I do not get what I want I tell myself I am not deserving, that I could have done more or I am simply inadequate.
- I don’t accept and love myself just the way I am, with my many weaknesses and issues.
- I don’t give myself enough credit and permission to succeed and excel.
Now calculate your scores, and check out their meanings.
If you score between 120 – 200, you have an extremely low self esteem, this means you need immediate therapy or coaching.
100 – 119 means you have an averagely low self esteem, and this needs attention too.
70 – 99 means you have an averagely good self worth and esteem which is okay.
40 – 69 means you have a high self worth and esteem, and this is very good.
10 – 39 means you have an extremely high self worth and esteem, which is great.
0 – 9 means you have an absolute sense of worth and esteem. This could be good or bad depending on how you turn out. It is bad for those who turn out to be very proud and self absorbed.
If you have very low self esteem, what’s next for you? Follow these 20+ quick hacks to develop your self-esteem.
- Be realistic in your choices and take it one at a time. See each success as a step in the right direction; small changes add up.
- Enjoy yourself. Put effort into making life pleasurable and satisfying.
- Learn something new, it might be something you have always wanted to know, or even something you never thought you could do.
- Eat regularly and eat healthy meals.
- Exercise regularly; fitness and well-toned muscles can give confidence and help you feel good about your body and yourself.
- Pay attention to your poise, how you stand, sit and walk.
- Think tall and stand tall with your chin constantly high up.
- Pay more attention to your appearance and looks. Dress well, pamper yourself, go shopping.
- Choose a new hairstyle, clothing, styles and colours that suit and complement your body shape, scale and personality.
- Buy magazines, books or go for seminars that give advice on personal presentation.
- Do something you particularly enjoy but don’t often get around to.
- Always have kind things to say about people, including you. Watch your internal communication, think and say only positive things to yourself.
- Avoid situations and people that leave you feeling bad about yourself and spend more time concentrating on experiences that are more likely to be successful and rewarding.
- Do not assume you are not important; everyone needs somebody.
- Be genuinely nice, volunteer to help, and pay others compliments.
- Do something good for someone else, especially the poor, the less privileged, orphans, and so on.
- Take responsibility for your own actions and reactions to other people’s actions: as we cannot change other people, we need to focus on changing our attitudes towards them.
- Act now! Do not be afraid to do certain things, try them you might be wrong in feeling that it is too advanced for you.
- Do not downplay your achievements, celebrate yourself.
A healthy self-esteem can be cultivated by changing our beliefs, perception, thoughts and words. We must believe that we are valuable and good enough.
Good self-esteem is not based only on situations, or performances. So always say to yourself, “I am good enough even when I make mistakes and perform poorly. I value myself even when others don’t.”
A healthy self-esteem means to think and feel as if you have innate, inherent value that does not depend on external circumstances, or current situations.
Begin to take failure as feedback and turn it into positive learning experiences and growth opportunities.